As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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