We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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