He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
