He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
