This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
