she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Drunk walkin through police station. America
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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