what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
