i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
