the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
