Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
