I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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