you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
