You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Jerry, you need to find god
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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