we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Randomize
