Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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