Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
