its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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