Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
