I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
