i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
