you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
