we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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