If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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