How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize