you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
