I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
