The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
