me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
