She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
