You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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