Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
