Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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