I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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