his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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