You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
