The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
