Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
