I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I supernannyed him into submission
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
