Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
