I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
