this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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