why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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