it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
