Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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