you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
