I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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