i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
