Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
