Rock
Scissors
Fuck
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We need to rekindle our bromance
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Randomize
