So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize