She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
