tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
