Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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