So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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