What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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