he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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