apparently the secret to your success is patron
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
