I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
