I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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