What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
