...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
