Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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