we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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