haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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