she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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